Laws and Regulations

My slow-simmering cold has finally come to a boil. Yum. So, mum gives me these off-brand cold pills that are huge and full of my favorite little chemical, pseudoephedrine hydrochloride. I took a pair last night, so my head wouldn't drain while I was trying to sleep. About 20 minutes after I took them I remembered, these things jazz you up. Damn. Four hours later, I was sad not to be sleeping.

So I took another pair this morning on my way to work. Wooo! I was *so* high! I had spontaneous numbness, couldn't read hardly anything, was super slow moving... it was great. Except, I was at work. I was gonna try and do paperwork or something easy, avoiding the potentially bad deal of talking to people on the phone. But then, the boss hollers over, Baby B--! {that's what he calls me. Great, eh? He knows my pop and bro, and, as the youngest, I get referred to as Baby B--. *sigh*}. "You look horrible! Are you sick?"

Thanks, buddy. I'm stoned, this psuedoephedrine stuff makes my eyes leak, so I look like I'm crying, and half my body is numb. How can I make that look good?

On the way, I drop into my local CVS to grab some familiar Sudafed, a delightful little red pill that may cause my head to fill with helium, but doesn't cause massive numbness. In the cold med aisle, there is a shelf of pills with phenylephrine, instead of psuedoephedrine. No biggie; I just slide over to the hanging cards and pick one for Sudafed and one for the CVS-brand cold pill. You have to take these to the pharmacist, as they are now a "controlled substance". I was carded, scrutinized, frowned at and told I could only have 48 pills at a time. {for those recently emerging from caves, there are a bunch of dickwads cooking meth in their basements/kitchens/bathrooms. In addition to Drano and other cleaning agents, cold meds with psuedoephedrine are used. Meth labs tend to be volatile (they explode), and meth itself isn't really all too gentle on the brain (did you see the ingredients? Drano, dude. Drano.). So, in order to reduce meth labs, They have created a law requiring cold meds be kept behind the counter.}

I asked the pharmacist about the difference between phenylephrine and psuedoephedrine. He, looking as stoned as I felt, didn't have much to offer. Doesn't use either one, suggested maybe cost, which was the same, and doubted they'd feel any different in the system. But why would he know? What does he look like, a person who deals with drugs all day? Sheesh.

oh.

Let's say, this does NOTHING to add to my strong dislike and distrust of pharmacists. They are NOT the friendly helpful people commercials make them out to be. Not anywhere close. They are rude, arrogant, huffy and judgemental. I say, give the medicines to the doctors and the nurses so you can get your meds immediately (more or less) after the Doc tells you that you need them. Cut out the middleman entirely.

Here's to the revolution! Down with pharmacists!!!