What to Say?

Man... I've been thinking all week about what to write here. I've been told my blog is lame (sniffle), and I've been told it looks like I'm 'having a lot of fun', so maybe my content hasn't been quite right. I just... got nothin' better.

For the last 2 weeks my knee has still been a pain. I have a knot in there, which seems like a not-good thing. Turns out, walking a lot isn't nice, but a whole lot better than chooing. That deep of a squat, with all my weight - super painful! I can hear it crack and grind, too, which is just nasty. Whatever. Monday I crashed, again, on the very same knee. We were on the way to my house -almost there!- and slid in the mud. It was enough to bruise and scratch it, but mostly just hurt my poor knee's pride. So, I'm deciding to take a whole month off from boda bodas. We'll see if that helps.

My org is planning a World AIDS Day event. Sort of. If we can move past donors onto actual activities and content, at least. So, don't hold your breath.

I've been practicing the cloth pads from the Many Moons design. It's good, and seems to be working. They are costing around 20/= a piece. When I asked the women what they would charge/pay for these, they say 10/=. Regular disposables cost 10/=!! We clearly need to have some talk on pricing goods, as well as investment. But, the positive, we are generating interest and curiousity.

As for the assistance from you all, from Cheryl and OU, and the other private donors out there, let me again say Thank You! I am thinking about a "symbolic" donation, where a certain amount of money equals a number of pads. We could then just buy the materials here with that money, saving the shipping expense and stress. Or, directing that money to LunaPads, to keep things concentrated and to also give props to the ladies there for their generosity and kindness. What do you all think?

Also: I doubt I'll be back here for 3 weeks, until just before Thanksgiving. We are going out to Nairobi to dine with Embassy families, which is awesome! Sorry for the slightly long delay there. But, after that, life will be sweet - a week for turkey day, then a week at site, then back to Kitui for IST, followed by Xmas (also in Nairobi) and then a trip to Lamu for the New Year.

It sounds like a big vacation, I know, but I swear - we do work sometimes! And all of us are realizing Kenya doesn't really need PH PCVs. Good thing then there are 52 set to arrive in May! (where the hell are they going to stick all those suckers???)

Oh, and, the body count is now at 5. So, that's, what... 36 of us left?

And, before I forget, 'cause I know you're all just dying to hear, Cathy really has died. I was going on the hibernation thing, until I came home and found him, um, 'skeletal', due to the efficient red ants. Happily (?) he has been replaced by a loudmouth too rude to introduce himself. At least the new one poops less.

Unlucky 13

Friday the 13th. Never a day with much swing for me before, but today really rocks. Wanna hear all about it?? Of course you do!

I wake up at 5:30am today, intending to catch the Pastor's matatu and get a ride to Kisumu. That's fine, no worries. I wake, I pack, I get out the door at about 10 to 6. Cannot shut my door. Well, it does, sort of, but not enough, like it should, to allow me to latch it. wtf. I try and try and try. Nothing. Go down to the Pastor's, planning to ask him and his fellas for help, only to find his garage open and empty. He left!!!

I round up a farmboy to help me, and he can't get it either. Even with a friend helping him. They pop the latch off with a panga and say it was only on with a bit of sand and cement. Great, thanks. So, I figure I'll be getting robbed this weekend. I'm trying not to focus too much on that.

I begin my walk to Kilingili, catching a boda boda about halfway. Alright, not too bad. Even the kids on their way to school weren't too obnoxious or rude. We're getting there.

I checked the Posta in Kilingili and it is completely empty. Not even a Newsweek from PC. Damn! I grab my boda boda man, a fella who's driven me before, and start the trip to Stendkisa. He's inquiring if I am a Christrian and how I worship. About 2/3rds the way there, we ride waaayyyy too close to another bike and *BAM* my ass is turtled, clutching my beyond-throbbing knee. I don't know what it hit, exactly, but it was a hard hit. God, that (does still) hurt! It's somewhat swollen now, and I don't know what to do in a country without ice. Scraped my hand and elbow, too. Got to cry a little in the middle of a street, right out front of a Primary school, with kids hollering about the mzungu.

It's been okay since then - mandazis and chai at my fav place, new books to read, seeing my PCV pals... My knee is big and stiff and not cool. I'm gonna see how it is tomorrow before I bug PC about it. I would have taken ibuprofen for it, but there wasn't any at the office, so it's just tylenol for me. sweet.

In other news:

You are all the coolest, most supportive people a PCV could ask for! My email to LunaPads was successful - they are intersted in helping and will be figuring out how. It might take a little while, but that is very likely to happen.

I am SO happy that Cheryl has been pursuing this, also, at OU. The more sources the better, I say. Lighten the load a bit for everyone. A.Jean brings a good point on shipping, which is a wasteful place to spend donated dollars. I'll have to give that one some thought and see what might be done. Just now I am thinking, I wonder if X, the husband of my fellow mzungu would be willing to carry them over in Dec. when he comes to visit. You can bring 2 50lb bags on international flights, so maybe if one was just pads..? I'll have to ask.

Please keep asking around and being creative. I have visited 2 Secondary and 3 Primary schools so far, all with this need. It's about 200 gals at each 2nd and 100 in the 1st schools. There are a few more in the area, so we're looking at 1,000 to be a one-per-woman kind of thing. I've got a sewing pattern, so that's what I'm really hoping for, beyond an initial donation to pique interest. That then becomes business and income for women. Sustainable!!

And on that note, I'd like to encourage you all to read this article, given to my by Hugo. Very interesting.

Oh, p.s. I think Cathy (the bat) has died. He's stuck to the wall and hasn't moved in a few days. I took pics, dad, so don't worry! And it seems I'm going to have to remove him and dispose, so I might take a few more. Mixed feelings on the issue...

A Saturday Night, and I Ain't Got Nobody

I'm in Kisumu again, the only place to be. The only place to be for internet, at least! Damn the Posta and their humungous debt to the internet provider!! Rumor is, they have no plans to pay and reinstate the internet. Seems a great opportunity for some new business in Kenya, right?? Open your own little cyber cafe (pronounced phonetically here, no accent) and serve the needy people. Nope. Not yet, at least.

I may have mentioned before, I'm reading books like they're going out of style. I think my tally is 15 since arriving in Kenya. Turns out, the PC library has a lot of African books - about white residents or visitors in Africa, some fiction, some memoirs. Turns out, I have an interest in African books. I like being able to say "I've been there!" or "Man, I know exactly what you mean." Also, turns out, reading two African books, back to back, that criticize the development and the role of aid workers on this continent is a really bad idea.

I read Dark Star Safari, by Paul Theroux. Very good book, very good. He was a PCV in Malawi back in the day, and takes a stop at his old village to see how things have progressed. They haven't. If anything, things have regressed. The aid workers throughout the book are rude. There is an on-going comment on the damage that has actually resulted from this well-intended aid and donation. It makes people to be totally dependent on their next donor, never looking to themselves as a means to escape poverty.

The second book, Zanzibar Chest, was also really good. That one is the memoirs of a journalist in Africa, who has been in Somalia and Rwanda during the really bad times. I learned a lot from that book, which is always good. But, again, it had a negative comment for the aid workers that come in and force people to change and take on Western ways. I read these two back to back and was a mess for it. I was depressed, without hope, angry, and resentful of the PC and the people in my village who continually ask me for money. I took it out on one poor fella, who was asking me to connect him to a Christian group in the US to sponsor some projects. He had to go and pray for a while with the Secretary by the time I finished with him.

The good news: I'm sorta starting to do real work here, and work that I think can make more of a difference. I see teaching as having a stronger impact than setting up a small business, as our education always lasts longer than our interest in the summer lemonade stand. Last Wednesday, I went to Kilingili Secondary to meet all 340 of their co-ed students. We started a talk about sex and AIDS and keeping healthy. I really like their guidance counselor, so she and I will be setting up a long-term program where I can meet with smaller groups (like, 50 or less, PLEASE!) and teach this Life Skills program that's about assertiveness, AIDS, and delaying sex. A really positive approach, I think.

Martin and I went over to Eshinutsa Secondary, and they are in desperate need. They don't have a guidance counselor at all, nor do they have a female teacher. It's been a problem, as they can't access the students the way they need to. I'm very eager to get started there.

I'm here today to do some research on some projects and get some business done. I'm also trying to get the hell out of dodge for a breather, a shower and some food I didn't have to cook myself. One thing that has come up a few times is the topic of why female students don't last in Secondary. One reason is they are "sick" once a month, having to stay home because they can't afford tampons or pads. Just imagine how much you learn when you are only getting 75% of what the boys get. I'm hoping to either find a sponsor (ack, I know) or a means for women to solve this. I'm going to stop writing now and go check out LunaPads' site to see what they might suggest...

Needed: Witty Titles

Greetings from Kakamega, today!

I got up damn early today (5:30am) so I could hitch a free ride in the Pastor's matatu into town. It sucked, but sure beat the alternative of walking an hour, waiting ages for a matatu to pass through Kilingili, and then trying to find space in a vehicle going north. I got "sold" in Chavakali, but it was okay, as the driver lent me his newspaper to pass the time.

There's a PCV here that is SEDICT and was the PCT in Mama's house before me. It's nice to visit someone new and hopefully, ideally, he will have good advice for me on how to deal with all the SEDICT issues that have come up at site.

Speaking of which... I went to Nukuru last week, for business. I stayed with some of my fellow peeps who are living in a HUGE, nice, stema-fied house on KITI, the Kenyan Industrial Technical Institute. I was totally jealous, at first. The weather was cool (or cold, depending), there was water and stema, pavement, actual variety in the market, etc. But, the downer, town isn't that great. Crowded and smelly, as many cities are. My orgs people were Totally clingy, and that drove me insane. I'm going to have to wear a disguise the next time I try to go there!

I think I will be getting to go there every few months, on business, which is just awesome. Business trips dont count against vacation days, and the travel is paid for by Alpha. There are some big national parks there that I need to visit, especially before my visitors begin to flock to me. I want to be sure it is worthwhile before we spend some hard-earned greenbacks.

A highlight of my Nukuru trip: the market had zucchini!! I bought 6, way to many, and have delighted in eating them everynight. I made Pasta Pazoo that lingered for 3 meals, and then did a spicy stir-fry that I tacoed into chapatis last night. Damn tasty!!!

A quick thanks for letters and packages! I came home to quite a few, which was a real treat! I have some on the way out, too, so don't fret. Hopefully I can get the money to buy some aerograms and make the mailings cheaper and easier and maybe increase my output. So, the best way to RECEIVE a letter is to SEND a letter!! You dig??

It's a Saturday in Kisumu

Habari zenu? Mzuri sana!! Hey y'all, how's life? Rockin', over here.

I am in Kisumu just now, where the internet is cheap and fast. The food is good. There are showers. Stima. Tarmak. Civilization. Yea, baby!!

I wasn't planning to come this weekend - I was gonna stay home and be good, in anticipation of my upcoming trip to Nukuru. But then I got a text msg saying there was a group of PCVs going to greet Mr. Barrak Obama as he arrived in the Kisumu airport, and did I want to come. Hell yea!! [FYI- Barrak's father was a Luo, from Nyanza province and he likes to come and be both political and familial with the Kenyans.] So, this morning, we all went down to the airport and stood around with a bunch of reporters, waiting. He arrived and came to greet us personally and talk with us PCVs. Very, very cool. We got a photo taken ( I hope to have it posted soon, I'll be in touch) and shook hands. I was in the background on the Citizen news today, as Barrak spoke with his Illinois constituents. There was a reporter from the Chicago Sun Times (Lynn something), who spoke with Claire and some others about Barrak and PC. Maybe you can look for a photo/news story on their site or on her blog. Let me know if and what you find!

Thanks so much to all you that have sent soap recipes. I will soon print and test them. If you have any other ideas for income generation, please be most free to share! It's not my main job here, but I still feel compelled to try.

Just for the info and the good example: My dear Aunt Jean sent a small pkg. this month. It came in a small envelope from the post office, maybe a 5x7? She got quite a bit of goods inside it (though she seems to have forgotten the letter!), and it was only $8 in postage. For whatever reason, it seems to have slipped through customs, as I paid no charge and saw no ticket. Maybe the size? Who knows... But it's a perfect way to send something small for cheap. And hey, Im not begging for packages. They are a treat (I smiled for days after this last one), but I am just as happy with a well-filled letter. Send Mail!! Let me know the mundane things and the exciting things. Don't be afraid of being boring. It wont be! THANKS!!!

Request:

A request to the masses, if you'd please take a moment to consider...

I am seeking recipes for butter, cheeses, and other milk-based yummies. These would be straight from the source cooking, with limited/none refrigeration options. In other words, cheeses that are durable or wax-coated.

I am also seeking recipes for soaps that do not require lye or caustic soda. I know there are some out there, but believe they will be harder to find.

For those of you with unlimited access to fast internet, please spend some time searching and send me what you find!! If you have my email, it can be sent direct, or posting here would be just fine.

Thanks bunches! The people of Kisa will thank you, as these will hopefully become income-generating activities.

Home sweet home

I am at site now. I'm trying to get cleaned and organized. I think I need to buy shelving and drawers, though. There's a fundi in town who is making a kitchen counter and a cupboard for me, so I'll finally be able to cook like a normal person. Well. No, nevermind. I'll be close to being able to cook like I am home. I still am using a jiko, which is a challenge in itself. I am really hoping to be getting a gas stove soon, but who the hell knows?

Limited work, so far. We are supposed to not work in the first 3 months, as community entry time, but my supervisor doesn't really get the concept. I don't know how else to explain it and, frankly, I'm tired of trying. I feel better when I am out in the field, anyhow. Martin and I are taking it easy, going to meet the women's groups and orphans that I'll be working with. So, really, that's community entry, right?

I'm in Kakamega right now, a city an hour and some north of Kisa. The internet is fast, the market was good, and the SecurCorp had my bike. I tell people here that I am getting a bike, so they look at me, shocked and ask, you know how to ride?? Yes, I tell them. Then they laugh! Why, exactly, is that funny? And, really, why on earth would I be getting a bike if I didn't know how to ride it?? Come on. This is Not the place to learn!!

'Twas the Night Before Swear-In

Hey hey hey! Guess what this is?? This, right here, is my very last message as a Peace Corps Trainee! YA-hooooo!! We have been brought to Nairobi (kicking and screaming, thank you) to swear in and become official Volunteers. Cool, eh?

This has been a manic week, to be sure. We had presentations, an all-night party followed way too closely by a thank-your-family party, then a language test, packing, a farewell to my women's group, more packing, shopping and GO! This may surprise people, but I began packing my things Tuesday at, oh... 3:30p, when the PC van had come by the house about, say, 2p. Cool! I think I got it all in as best as possible, but damn, dude. This sucks!!

Tomorrow is our ceremony. It should be all great and formal, with the acting Ambassador at the US Embassy doing the officiating. Afterwards, to the PC office for an auction, paperwork and some time with medical to look at this damned rash. For our celebration, we have made a reservation for 45 at Carnivore, Kenya's biggest disco. They serve an all-you-can-eat selection of game, including gator, zebra, gazelle, etc. Needless to say, I'll be dining ala carte, with a less nyama-intense menu!

I've been getting mail - you all kick ass. Thank you!!!! In case I didn't post it last time, I have my new mailing address. Now, the important thing: for the first 90 days in country, packages are duty-free when sent to Nairobi. This is lasting until the end of Sept., as they only count business days. So, send the packages QUICK!! PO Box 29185, I believe it is. LETTERS ONLY (until the month of October, and then pkgs, too) should be sent to me, c/o Alpha Support Development Programme, PO Box 299 - 30518, Kilingili, KENYA. Sawa?

This is crazy... the internet here at AFRAALTI, our hotel, is free and fast, and yet, I'm rushing as though I had to pay and unsure of how to handle the relatively-speedy connection! Eek!

One week to go!

One final week to PST. One more, excruciating, stress-filled, semi-fun, bittersweet week before we swear in and actually begin life as Peace Corps volunteers.

Today has been fairly easy. I attempted to use my leadership skills on my technical group - 10 other adults - only to meet massive resistance. It was awesome. We need to be given 5500 /= before too late on Thursday (ha!!) so we can afford to go to market. There, we must buy food and such for a party we have to throw for our host families on Saturday. All organized, coordinated and executed by us. Friday will be occupied by a semi-PC-planned sleep-over at Thome. But, again, they want us to do most of the organizing. I mean, we have plenty of time to group up and discuss, right? Did I mention the 3 reports/presentations due Friday morning? I may have forgotten that...

Seriously, though, if you disregard PC, things have been good here. I had a couple of infections and currently have an odd-looking rash, but life is good. Mama and fam are well. Friends are about the same as me. Weather has been nice, but, we are in the dry season, so it's not like rainy days are even an issue.

After site visit, when I last wrote, we have had more time for our community projects. The choo we were digging is without funds, so that came to a halt. My women's group is still real active, though, so that's great. We taught them to make salsa and soap, both as income-generating activities. I've no idea about IGAs, but I guess it is good to practice now for when I get to site. That seemed to be number 1 request there.

Us PCTs organized another all-night party at a local hotel. Cheeseburgers, onion petals, salsa, guacamole, chapati crisps, ugali crisps, and sangria. Damn good selection of food! We are really good cooks when we put our minds to it, and we know how to have fun.

As I had said, there is one more week. We will leave next Wed. for Nairobi and swear in on Thursday. Pretty exciting, eh? Hope so. Then, we are on our own to get to site. I guess the other Westerners are planning to sleep Friday in Nairobi, take the night train on Saturday, sleep in Kisumu Sunday and be at site on Monday. I like the idea, but will need to let my supervisor know. I think he honestly believes I can make it there on Friday. He also believes PC is taking me, despite my attempts to explain otherwise.

Gonna run out of time... More from Nairobi!!

Future Site Visits

I'm in Nairobi today, on my way back home from my future site. I've been placed in Western province, near Kakamega, Kisumu, Butere, etc. Try to find that area on the map. It's north of Lake Victoria, beautiful and green, hilly, and nice. The weather felt humid, but somewhat cool. Because it is north of the equator, I'm suddenly coming in to summer instead of winter, which feels totally random. The people are of the Luhya tribe and speak Luhya. They are made up of a million clans, each with their own dialect. Sounds like learning mother tongue will be a challenge.

I meant to have my address with me when I used internet, but this kind of came up suddenly. It may take a little longer. Sorry, ya'll. I'll be sharing with my supervisor, who runs the Alpha Support Development Programme. Maybe you can find out that way? It's a PO Box in Kilingili.

Umm... It sounds really great, but super overwhelming. I met 3 groups on Friday and was introduced as being one step below 'messiah'. Uh.. me? Yikes! It sounds like I will have a wealth of things to do, so if I get bored I either really am a messiah or else I'm a moron.

My house is nice. A 2 bedroom place, living room, indoor kitchen and indoor bafu (washroom). My bafu is in desperate need of a curtain, as I discovered my neighbor watching me the other morning. Nice. Thanks. The choo is a double, out back, and full of giant jumpy spiders. We are getting a lesson on Doom this week, so we can be prepared for moving in. I want to just gut it out, scrub everything and repaint, then rearrange the furniture in a me-friendly way. I'm lucky to have a big table, chairs, a couch, and a bed. Not too much will be needed in furniture then.

We are going back to Kitui this afternoon for our last month of training. Hopefully all will go well, then we are back to Nairobi for swearing in on the 3rd and leaving for site on the 4th. Oooh, baby!

Wild for Kenya

Hey hey hey!! I just read all the notes you've been leaving - Thank you!!! It's so great to see!! Business - mum, dad, I have been trying to email you, but haven't been able to get it sent. Please don't be mad and don't think I'm being evil!

Life here is still good. Hot, but cold, all at once. The nights are quite chilly and the morning bath is getting fast! But then, but midday, it's hot as hell all over again. It's alright - I think I am getting used to it all.

I've put in a request for a cooler site. We find out on Monday the 3rd. We go to Nairobi this weekend, which has been dramatic, but I'll fill in on that once I have some real info to share. Monday is a mtg with supervisors, then Wed we leave for our future sites. I am SO excited!!! Maybe Western province, Rift Valley, Nyanza... Those will all be cool.

When we get there we have to find out about mailboxes. As soon as I know my future address I will be sure to post it here for all y'all. Don't be afraid to keep using the other address, though!!

Lotsa love to you all. I'm working on letters for everyone. If you think there's a chance I don't have you mailing address, PLEASE EMAIL IT TO ME!! I want to write letters, but I know I'm missing a few folks.

End of Week 3

...Not like we are counting the weeks or anything... Umm.. it's the end of week 3 and all is well. We are still in good spirits, getting almost handy with the language, and just starting some community service.

Wednesday morning, we woke early to walk an hour over to a new dispensary. 11 of us were there to build a choo (the others were digging a well, I think). For this, they marked out a 3' x 4' area where we are now digging down to 20' depth. In the 4 hours of work, we got to about 5'. Nice, eh? It's gonna get freakier as we go, and we need a ladder to get in and out, and buckets to remove the dirt. I guess after it is dug and cemented, we will build the surrounding structure to make it complete.

My family is still quite nice. The little people are getting on my nerves, though. It seems all they do is cry!! I've threatened to strangle them, but the mama's just think I'm kidding and laugh. Right.

Hey, my time is about to expire so, sorry to be so short! I gots to go!!

WRITE ME!!

Hamjambo kwa Kitui!

Very quickly!! I am in Kitui, Kenya, a small city about 3 hrs from Nairobi. Cute, smallish, dirty, HOT AS HELL and nice. Language is progressing. People are great. 39 of us now, having lost 2 in staging.

I have a mobile. If you want it, email me and I'll let you know. Or, call my mum.

I am at the post office with a line behind me and 5 minutes left on my card. Love to you all. I hope you enjoy your summers!!

WRITE TO ME!! I want a letter!!

Get the hell outta here!!

It's 12:30am, the morning of my departure for the City of Brotherly Love. I finally packed, having only been gathering this last week. Oops. Turns out, I should have done this a few days ago and then pruned, repacked, and pruned some more. I got a lot of crap.

The problem isn't weight. There's 30 lbs in the backpack, 30 lbs in the duffel bag. I'm 20 lbs under PC's limit, which almost makes me want to find 20 more pounds of stuff, just to meet my limit. But where, oh where, would I stick it? I'm sure I have too much clothing and not enough "stuff". I just have NO IDEA.

PC never sent me the packing list, as promised. Jerks. I took... 6 skirts, 6 shirts, skivvies (lots), socks, jammies, bikini, comfies, . . . . books, journals, film, eyeball stuff, shit - I haven't even packed any shoes yet, a wind-up flashlight, suntan lotion, binoculars, um..

Really, I think it will all be fine. I just want to get there, get settled and not think about it again. Or, at least, get there, get settled and actually be able to assess the situation and appreciate what was brought, rue what was left, and find peace in between.

Contact info... I believe I'll be keeping this blog, as is. I will most certainly post a new site if I change my mind. Mail shall be sent to: (me), Peace Corps Trainee / PO Box 30518 / Nairobi, Kenya / AFRICA I encourage a regimine of 1 letter per week for best results.

Thanks!!

Return to the Great White North

I quit my job at the end of April (!!!!) and immediately celebrated with a trip north. Lucky me had gotten a plane ticket from the bosses for Winter Solstice and I didn't have to drive. What a relief!

I stayed with Jess D. and partied like a college kid. It was GREAT! Drinking every day, dancing, hugging cute boys, all without the weight of finals or classes or any of that crap. Being out and about like that let me see all the people I missed but couldn't contact or was just more 'acquainted' with. Man...

I met a lot of famous people, too. Jess's new beau, the hunk I want her to marry; Katie, my buddy's lil sis; Jess's lil bro's, who are on their way to fame; and a couple of foreigners, including a Kenyan gal.

I just... love it. I love it so much.

Keep Marching for Choice

I got an email from Planned Parenthood today, asking me to post a blog with a story about women who are baited into visiting "fake" clinics when seeking help for an unwanted pregnancy. (This wasn't an unsolicited request, so you know) The story was good, truthful, and evocative, but it doesn't feel right to post someone else's words in my blog. I'll give you my version, instead.

Basically, the Anti's (as in Anti-choice) have taken a new strategy to their war on choice. They are buying up properties next door to Planned Parenthoods, real clinics and abortion providers. They call themselves things like, "Crisis Pregnancy Center" or "Pregnancy Services", and lead you to believe they'll help you make the best choice. They also skirt laws about harassing women on their way into these clinics, as they can do whatever they like on their own lawn.

Once inside, the women are told lies about abortions. They are told lies about what is inside them. They are made to feel awful, sinful, murderous for even considering an abortion.

The New York Times has a good column on these places. One thing that stood out for me was the comments by the women they interviewed. It seems all those who were having the most difficulty with the abortion were those who didn't make their own choice. Their mom, their dad, their boyfriend all wanted it to happen, but never them. They behaved in a way they thought would get the most approval. No wonder they feel like shit now. If a woman is going to choose to abort, it has to be her own decision, and she must be given all the options, with real facts regarding each choice. That's what this whole fight for choice is all about -safe, honest, informed choices.

I will give these fake clinics one morsel of credit: when a woman really wants to keep the baby, or at least not terminate, they are great for assistance. These places can connect a woman to adoption services and will provide clothing, diapers, and formula to a mother in need. I just don't see why they can't be straightforward about this.

My Shitty Day

Today qualifies as the shittiest day I've had in a while. Which, really I know has a silver lining, but we can look at that later. Don't let it distract you.

So this day sucked, right from the very-ery beginning. By that, I mean 12am. At 12am, I was beginning to regret my choice of onion rings while debating religion with a Frenchman who only halfway speaks English. An hour later I realized what time it was, a whole 6 hours before I had to start my day. Yay.

Homeward bound! I hopped right into bed in a desperate attempt to squeeze 8 hours of sleep into 6 hours of time. Too bad my body hates me, and I laid (i.e., thrashed) around for at least an hour before dozing off. At 5:50am, the cat from hell - who's name is Lola, as if that wasn't indication enough - started scrabbling and yowling at my door. She does this EVERY morning when L goes to work out. It continues until I let her in or the door pops open and she lets herself in. It popped at 6:20am.

I go to work, as good girls do, totally fried, but on-time and full of breakfast. I had a lot of coffee and was feeling good, so I took a jaunt down the street for better coffee and to pick up my podner's omelet. Cool, right? The weather was fab, it was sunny, yahoo! Add a diet coke, subtract a bag with handles, and you have me balancing an ice-cold beverage and a steamy-hot coffee on top of a styrofoam container. Push a door, push a door, trot down the street, puullll a door !!carefully!!, down the stairs, and twi-wis-twist the knob and **ka-blash!** The coke falls and shatters on the floor, the coffee tips and spills its scalding goodness on my arm, hand, and abdomen, and I stood stunned.

The upside? The ice from the coke felt nice on my brand new burn.

Oh, and P said the omelette was really tasty.

Writing, typing, dialing, and generally existing, all suck really bad once you toss a burn into the mix. My work is based on writing, typing and, especially, dialing. hoo-rah.

I took a long lunch to see the cute boy at the shoe store (who my parents already dislike, sight unseen, and without the threat of marriage or babies) who was too busy to talk, wander aimlessly, and finally get into a long chat with an odd fella who told me which colors of squirrel taste best and how to get the 'game' out of my recently deceased meat.

It seamed only right to GO HOME, curl up on the couch and eat cookies. Hibernation is a defense mechanism I'm not too proud to use.

39 Steps Backwards for Humanity

Went over to the bookstore today, for a quick look at what was new and interesting. Ended passing by a book entitled, "39 Uses for your Wife." Honestly. I think it was supposed to be funny, as the illustrations were all very cartoony. In reality, it was an offensive waste of paper and ink.

Options include: Diva, Lingerie model, Tailor (with an image of a woman, prone, at her husband's feet), Chauffer, and Trophy.

I have to wonder, as a publisher, what the hell are you thinking when you approve this book?? Who's your intended audience? What's your message? How is someone getting paid for this?

Welcome to Collinwood

Mum and I caught this one, Welcome to Collinwood, on inDemand last weekend. Holy Funny As Hell, Batman!

It's about this guy who gets tipped off to a Bollini (which, it seems, it slang for a really hot heist) and goes in hot pursuit. There's a lot of familiar faces, but seen in a way that doesn't make the movie all about the actors. Well.. maybe there's one exception to that, but his role is brief so you can get past it.

I about fell off the couch laughing So Hard at this movie -I swear I did! It's just good physical comedy, done with a real old-school style that is hardly seen anymore.

Put this on your must-see list and SEE IT!!

Tips from a Resume Reader

I have been meaning to add on to this sector of my blog. In fact, I had sort of planned to make it at least a monthly entry. I think I'm just so used to shitty resumes, I hardly notice they're shitty! But - have no fear - I have found a few more beefs to share!

1. I thought the proper spelling issue would be obvious. It isn't. Let's now rephrase it to say 'Spell your job, your employer, your skills and your education/training properly'. There's far too many technitions out there without enginiring degrees, let alone a clue to spelling.

2. Leave your personal life out of it!! You might be 32, dating, with a son and love windsurfing and leading the cub scout troup, but we don't need to know.

3. Resumes are awesome when they explain your job history. One could make a strong argument, in fact, that that is their entire purpose. Do NOT list your employers and job titles without a few bullets (preferred) or a short paragraph (okay) underneath. Do NOT have a big glob of experiences followed by a short list of employer - title - dates. Connect the two, would ya?

3b. My boss, who really seems to be an expert on this whole resume / employment thing, has a rule for job descriptions. Start with 3 bullets and then add on one more for every year with a company. Now, if you've been somewhere for 30 years, doing the same thing, 33 bullets might be a tad much. Use your brain.

Diversion: it's my last month with the company. We've gotta get damn close to our quota before I leave, in order for me to be happy. So: anyone out there in the robot business, shout my way! I wanna get you hired!