Advancing Autumn

It's cold here. Really, really cold.

JLB tells me I'm crazy; it's not as cold as I think. But then I stick my icicle fingers down her shirt, and her screams let me know I'm not crazy after all. It's cold here.

But, I'm trying to cope. I wear layers. Usually 3, and a 4th when I go outside. My jeans have been enough so far. I should start planning for Winter, though, when I'll be needing more.

I'm trying to embrace it, too. Go outside, enjoy the sun. Take walks. Drink extra coffee. Take hot showers. Appreciate the colors of the leaves as we drive around with the heat on the lowest setting.

Today, for example: JLB has a thing for apple picking. I like it enough, but can't remember doing it since I was a Girl Scout (in other words, about 15 years back). We got the info and made a dash for the orchards today, one of the last good weekends for picking apples.

What a treat!! We went to Hawks, in Millbury, and the place was great. Small, not very busy, super nice people working there / owning the orchard. We have big eyes, and each demanded a half-bushel bag to take out. The bags are half-priced when you pick the ones off the ground (which I thought would be gross, bruised, wormy, etc.). They were stellar! In the end, JLB & me got...

You wanna guess?

Go on, guess how many pounds of apples we picked!!

Ready?

45 pounds!

Swear it to ya! We have forty-five pounds of apples in her garage right now, waiting for us to bake, boil, mash, and dry. It's going to be F-U-N!!

So, if any of you out there have an especially tasty recipe for freshly picked (or, collected, rather) apples, send it my way! Just post that recipe right into the comments box.

Go out and get your own, before the season turns too cold!!

Staying Here

So, like I said, I now live in Mass. The objective now is to stay here. Meaning, find a job, find some money, find a school, find some purpose. If I'm going to be a waste, I should go back home where I can be a waste for free. JLB will be expecting rent soon, and that's not going to be cool if I don't have an income.

I did apply to some jobs here. 2. I interviewed for one of those jobs and would LOVE to be hired. It sounds fabulous. Personally, I felt the interview went really well. It seemed like they did, too. But, who knows? They said they will call within the next 2 weeks to let me know. ack.

I'm waiting.

I know I should be applying to other jobs now. And I will! I just... don't want to find.. and maybe get.. a job that would keep me from saying 'yes' if this job calls me back. In the meantime, though, I wait.

I have a ton of things to do to keep me busy and my mind from overanalyzing every moment and every questions, deciding what was good, bad, ugly, and what may be the factor that keeps them from loving me. I have to clean up the paint supplies from my room and move in. Unpack clothes, unpack kitchen things, desk things, bathroom things, etc. Clean my mess from the house. Wash clothes. Buy food. Etc, etc, etc.

Study for the GRE so I can actually go to school in the fall (next fall, not this one, there's no option for this one. And, NO, I don't know what school) and not be a complete waste.

Find a school so I can answer people with something other than a snarl when they inquire.

Get a couple of jobs so I can afford to go to the school I've selected and applied to (NO, I don't know which schools!!!).

Goddammit. I hope they call me. I hope they hire me.

I need that job!!!!!!

Getting Here

I moved.

My new residence is Spare Room #1 at the home of Ms. JLB, Worcester, MA.

It's nifty. I painted is brown with a spring green stripe along the upper border. JLB is buying material for curtains this week, which will be a help. Then we need to drag home a bed for me, so I can stop sleeping on the floor. Maybe get a floor rug, too. Then it will be a cozy little nest for me. :)

I arrived a week ago now, on the 24th. Hugo and me made the drive out here. 12 hrs by car. It was good -we left early in the morn, crossed into Canada without a problem, and just aimed East.

The roads were awesomely smooth and, once we got out of the civilized area, gorgeously wooded. My only regret is the season; if this were a month later, the colors would have made me drive the speed limit, gasping all the while. In reality, I relied on my ignorance of conversion to the metric system to permit reckless speeding. Sorry officer! I'm American. You don't expect me to understand this, do you?

We stopped in Niagara for cheap food (it wasn't) and Canada's best Fish 'n' Chips (it wasn't). Also, of course, for a glimpse of the big falling water. I was more impressed by the numbers of foreign tourists than the water itself. As we struggled to leave, we wondered at Canada's genious for circular road signs that would never let us leave the country vs. Canada's idiocy for marking a path on their otherwise friendly roads. In the end, we made it to New York.

New York sucked. Sure, it was pretty, and the roads so glossy smooth my tires sang in joy, but the speed limit was 65 and you had to pay tolls the whole way. And, it lasted 4-Ever. New York state is, apparently, Huge. Seriously Huge.

Eventually we arrived in Massachussetts. Hoorah!! We only needed to get to exit 10A, do some twisty-turny-manuevering and we'd be there!! But Massachussetts is evil, and it's traffic system designed by a.) a moron, b.) a really mean person, or c.) someone who's never driven before. Exit 10A was about 100 miles into the state. The milage between exits 10 and 10A alone was 12 miles.

I don't remember when we arrived. I do remember my bladder being in the midst of a tantrum, my butt being too numb to help, and the darkness laughing as we missed roads and took unneccessary detours.

But we arrived. I am now an unofficial resident of Worcester, Mass.

Get a Job!

Right-o kids, here we are again.

I'm home and I'm surviving. Not so bad. Me and Hugo have had a good time catching up, drinking beer, planning our future. My future, on the immediate, consists of a trip to Chicago and Madison before I head east to MASS. Longer term, gonna get a job. Where? Who knows? What? Don't know that either. When? ASAP my friend. Even longer term? Grab a ticket and get in line, I'll let you know as soon as I do.

In the meantime... There's been discussion of a spin-off blog. I have fantasies of being the next big Dr. Ruth or Dr. Drew. And people, you people, who, yes, are mostly family and paid readers, seem to enjoy my writing, so, I figured, why not? And, someone who can use 8 commas in one sentence deserves a little glory, right?

Now, the question - - - and I DO expect you all to contribute an opinion, so I can have some guidance. I got a buddy who's a really good writer, too (and doesn't pay me to write this), and we were chatting up the idea of a collaborative page. Sex & Politics. But, you know, with a catchy title. I'd talk about sex and answer questions, he'd talk about politics and make us laugh.

What do you say?

No, really, what do you say?

Not out loud, you fool!! Type it in the comments box!

...sheeesh...

So it Goes

I'm back in America now. It's not vacation, it's a semi-permanent change of venue. Doubtful to improve the quality of articles on this page. Bummer for you.

Most of you know the {full/true/real} story, which is cool; you're family. There's certain privileges with that. Briefly, though, for the rest of you, here's my story, and I'm sticking to it. I suggest you do the same and don't ask annoying questions {about details/validity/witnesses}.

Essentially, I felt the need to apply all of my leadership and activist training I received at University. Having a group of active, strong women at my fingertips, I felt the time was ripe. So, we rallied together to have a big protest. It was amazing, beautiful, powerful, {topless} and loud. I don't remember what we protested, but I do remember feeling SO proud of my mamas. I mean, we had the whole district involved! Thousands!

Turns out, though, the Kenyan government wasn't so proud and enthusiastic. Might've been the content. {Or the partial nudity.} Whatever. I was kindly asked to leave the country and not return.

Broke my heart. I cried my eyes out, an activity not supported by the native women. I got two men to nearly cry with me, but the women seemed offended just by watching me. I had an entire year of service left and a lot of things to accomplish. I was asked to leave right in the middle of dinner, knowing what was for dessert and knowing I wouldn't be able to have any. Majorly shitty.

Here I am, again. I leave the nest time and time again, but just can't seem to stay the hell out. Gonna try again. In the next 4-6 weeks I plan to relocate to the East Coast. In the region of AJ and my dearest Jeffners. Work, school, and life to follow...

{Edits} inserted by author 23/8/07. Seems my deodorizer was so strong people couldn't smell the bullshit. Pole sana, wote. Better noses next time.

I Feel the Earth Move, Under My Feet

I can't believe I forgot to talk about this in the last post...!

Amongst my long list of "Firsts" for Kenya, I can know include 'Felt an Earthquake'. How cool is that, eh? Very cool, thank you!

The first time, we were at the Mara, sitting in the lounge, having some drinks, and quizzing poor Lobo. I felt this rumbling, like the floor was loose and people were jumping, or like something heavy was being pushed along behind us and we could feel it catching on the cracks and bumps in the sidewalk. Because I'd had a few drinks, I passed the whole thing off.

A few days later we saw a newspaper that was talking about how Nairobi was experiencing earthquakes due to an exploding volcano in Tanzania. They went on to say that almost no building in Kenya has been made to withstand an earthquake. I think the actual wording was more like, 'very few buildings have been professionally designed', but I'll have to look up some sources on that one.

Then, again, last Thursday I was lying in bed, doing nothing while entranced by the devil, when I felt it all again. The long rumble, the shudder, that odd feeling of vibration that makes you sure you're just in the midst of a schizophrenic episode.

Sure enough, it was some aftershocks to the eruption. Damn cool! I've been in an earthquake! I mean, I'm sure there are plenty of people in California who would love to argue that their earthquake experiences way outdo mine, but, for a midwestern gal, this is one heck of a First!

The End of Safari

Well. It's all over. The guests have gone home, the beer's been cleaned up, the tab's been paid. I'm not really sure by whom, but, hey. No one's knockin' on my door, and that's really all that matters, eh? right? Yep.

In my book, it was a damn good time. Here's kinda how it went....

I got up at 5am, to leave by 5:30am, to be at the airport in time for the arrival of the wageni. Turns out, there ain't much traffic at that hour, so I arrived with an hour to go. Add on the hour delay, and boy was I sorry I didn't dress warmer. Stupidly cold Nairobi. Finally! Mum and AJ meander through the doors and gaze about. Here I am! Here! Right here!! The one in the mohawk! Yes!! Me! They come over, we hug, they stare and my head, and we make like rugs and beat it.

Do these ladies want a nap? Nooo!! Let's go out and see the world!, they cry. And we do. We squeezed in the Elephant Orphanage, the Giraffe Center, and the Nature Walk, all in one day. I think the highlight of all that was the up-close-and-personal experience with Muilla the Cheetah. A damn close second, Bob/Phillip and Elizabeth, the pygmy hippos.

That night we trained to Kisumu, leaving late, arriving later. Had a groovy time of it, though, with mum taking about 400 pictures on the way. In Kisumu we slept at Kiboko Bay in this platform tent thingy that was super nice. Highly recommended. Also: we highly recommend you bring your own CDs for the barman, unless you happen to be a rockin' ABBA fan (and who isn't, deep down?). We rode the bodabodas, the tuktuks, we ate fish at the carwash, we shopped at Nakumatt, and we went out to see the hippos. Yahoo!!!

From Kisumu to Kakamega, by taxi. It was bad from the beginning - we left late, the tuktuk driver was too busy trying to get in my pants (in front of my mother, for Pete's sake!!!) to do his job, the KEEP was way further out in the boonies that anyone prepared me for, the road was worse than shitty, and so on. But! The mamas were all Soooo happy to see us and cooked a monsterously large feast. The food was all super tastey, then they sang a bit and the kids performed some drama. I think it went really well, and I hope everyone else agrees.

KEEP itself was pretty cool. We did two walks -one just normal one, in the afternoon, whatever, and then the sunrise walk where you leave at 4am and greet the sun 2 hours later. Try to do that one in the dry season, eh? It's a little... wet... otherwise. It was still groovy. Ask for Gabriel, too, as he is a great guide. Mostly just a fun dude who was super nice.

From the West, we went East, by bus, to Nairobi. Bus sucked, of course. Not much choice, there. But we found ourselves at the right place at the right time. Hot showers, flushing toilets, comfy beds and electricity. All the more appreciated after our 2 nights at KEEP! In the morning we were picked by the one and only Lobo (actually, there's at least 2 others, since he's got a dad and brother, but, you know. Sounds better.). He was our safari guide from Base Camp Travels. Poor fellow!

We started north in Samburu park. It's up across the equator and into dry, white sandy soil. We slept at the Samburu Sopa Lodge for 2 nights. Beautiful!! Great food, great staff, comfy rooms, nice architecture, . . . . what else? Lot's of animals to see. We 3 were the only ones, so that was really a nice thing. We'd do early morning and late afternoon drives to see the critters. Then we went south to Mt. Kenya, to sleep at the Castle Hill Lodge. Built for some dude named George. It was pretty and old and COLD. Too cloudy to see the mountain itself, but mum and I took a hike to see a waterfall. Again, try to go in a dry season. Back south across the equator to Lake Nukuru. Slept one night at the Sarova and it was one night too many. Overcrowded, understaffed with not-so-nice people, food mediocre... rooms were nice, though. It was cool to see the flamingoes up close and realize exactly how many there are. But, even the park felt too crowded with people. South again, into the Maasai Mara. We paused in Narok for tea and toilets, and I ran into K and her parents. Yay!!! I saw the Shanzu bags and thought, wonder if that's PC? Then I realized it was a familiar bag, attached to a familiar person! They were on their way out, to go raft in Uganda, and told us how much fun they had. What a nice surprise to see her!

The road into the Mara is at least as bad as they say, but fear not- the government has begun roadwork to smooth the situation. I think I saw an estimated completetion for some date 5 years from now. :) The park itself was really good. We saw some of the juicey bits of safaring, quite literally. There was a pride of 6 female lions chomping away on a zebra, then some hyenas cleaning up a day later. Saw some cheetahs working on a gazelle another day, their faces all pink and dirty. My favorite? The river full of hippos, where Lobo actually let me out of the vehicle to go say hello! I think I counted 24 of them!

Once it was all over, we were sad to say good-bye to Lobo, though I'm sure that wasn't mutual! It took him most of the week to start teasing back, so we felt like we were just breaking him in. Most of our too-personal questions had been answered, although more soberly than planned. I'm sure mum and AJ have a completely different version of this, but that's just because all the Aunties are afraid I'm on the edge of Old Maid status. Their vision is a bit blurred.

Finally, the last leg of our trip. We travelled like queens, flying through the air, to arrive in Malindi and mere hour after we left Nairobi. Our last hotel was the Turtle Bay Beach Club in Watamu. It was all-inclusive, even alcohol, so we lived it up. Nice rooms, nice service, good food with plenty of veggie options, ... on the ocean, with a big, clean pool, ... My only problem is that it is well-known for being kid-friendly. In other words, it was Full of little people. ack. Still a great place, but, I should take that into consideration in the future...

So, now I'm back in Nairobi. I'm stuck here on some personal bullshit. That's all working out okay, I guess. Nothing new anyway. I miss work and can't wait to get back. It feels really weird, though. All that time travelling and living rich has almost made me forget what country I'm in, especially having mum and AJ here. Now that they're gone, it's back to reality. *sigh* Not so sure I like that... But, hey, I gotta get some work done here and one more year should be just the right amount of time.

Proud to be...

It's that time of year again. That time when we drag out the grills, skewer a big, dead animal, and roast away, all the while consuming carbonated, alcoholic goodness.

Ahh, yes, the Embassy Picnic!

It's amazing to think it's be a full year now, cabisa, and to remember what little twerps we were at the Picnic last year. Sooooo much better this time around!!

After the picnic (Saturday), we had a toga party at a hotel in town. Good fun! There was a DJ, lots of people, beer, dancing, all those good things. I think I stayed until after 3 or 4am, but I'm not really sure. Never saw the time, and I certainly don't wear those wristy time-teller ninis. ha!

I had some business on Monday at the office, and now I am just killing time until Friday when mum and AJ arrive. My days are spent hunting for affordable food (which, last night, was a little piece of Eden with A-Mazing indian food at a new restaurant with the oh-so-lovely classification of "pure vegetarian"). This city is so expensive! We just got paid on the 23rd and I'm essentially broke already. Cool, eh? Yea, not so much....

In other news... I have a new hairstyle. Told my J the details, and mum will be the first to see it live, but I'll get a photo up soon. I dig it. Lots of people do, too. I'm too sexy for myself.

Met some JICA volunteers and was dismayed to, again, realize how the Japanese are so able to take our good things and make them way better. They fed us yummy Japanese food, though, so that made it all okay again.

I just recovered from a sinus/upper respiratory infection. That was a lot of fun. My annual illness, apparently.

Right. Well. I meet the wageni on Friday, and we are off for a major safari throughout Kenya. I'll probably not post while we are together, so look for the end of July/beginning of August for all the delicious details and possibly a photo or two.

Later, alligators!

I Scream, You Scream, We All Scream "Daktari!!"

I feel dirty.

Like, I need to go wash my mouth out with soap, or boiling water, or... mm. Something.

I just went to a dentist, a Kenyan dentist, who was not my one, my only, my dearest Dr. L. Have I betrayed our relationship? Defiled our bond? Will you ever dare to polish my teeth again, knowing some other man, a man with enormous hands, has probed inside my mouth? I will dare to hope this next year of separation will give time enough for our hearts to heal, so I may return to you anew.

Let me just say, for the rest of you, those more accustomed to lying back and opening wide, this was not a fun experience. I am still cavity-free (hooray!!), so I was saved the horrors of a filling in Kenya. But he didn't polish with my choice of flavored paste. He 'scoped' and scraped with an instrument of torture I hope never to encounter again. An awful noise, an awful feeling, an altogether not-so-good way to spend the morning. ug.

Other than that, my bodily fluids have been collected and sent away for inspection. Poor schmucks in the labs! Ha ha! My TB test appears to be negative, but not yet 24 hours old. We'll see how the day progresses. I'll let you know, too, if anything interesting comes back on the tests - specifically, what parasites I might be harboring.

So, two more days of this, then a free day, then I am going to Migore for a friend's birthday. Never been there before, so this should be fun. Then, 2 weeks until our 4th of July fiesta at ISK, a week and then the arrival of M & AJ. I'm freaking out. Still haven't booked a safari, and am having some challenges with communication. We'll come up with something...

Oh, for those of you in the know, I have just added 20 more pics or so online at FaceBook. I expect to be snagging a bunch more today, though I don't know when they'll make it to the net.

Enjoy!

What the Hell Are You Doing There Anyhow???

I just got my mail. A package from AJ, an invitation to my best friends wedding (which is on the verge of making me cry. Is it really too much to wait one year?), and a letter from AM asking just what the hell I do that I consider "work". Hmm. What do I do here?

I guess I'll just share my diary for the last and upcoming weeks...

Last week was GLOW, and I already talked about it, albeit in a not-so-eloquent blog. I got home Saturday night, had an AIDS talk with some youngin's at a church on Sunday, 3 loads of smelly laundry and my Women's group meeting on Monday, a no-show meeting at the FFS office, where I instead typed my supervisor's resume, then went to an AIDS talk with mamas at a different church on Tuesday, woke early to go pick chili peppers, then went to a 2nd try of yesterday's meeting, then to a lunch date, which took me to an Educational Assessment office for a brief meeting, before I came here to do this, which will be followed by a bit of shopping.

Tomorrow is pretty open, but that is likely to change. Friday I am going to Kisumu to see how much of my "living allowance" I can drink before I have to be back to a church group on Saturday. I'm going to church Sunday, before I move to a different one for yet another AIDS talk. Another Women's group meeting on Monday when we will move our chickens into their new house and (hopefully) discuss what to do about the orphans we support, then 3 days of High Value Tree sensitization in 3 locations, mixed with time at a HIV+ group meeting and a Market Clean-Up day.

The week after is somewhat open - just my regularly scheduled program. The 12th-14th June I have my Mid-Service medical exam. It's a meet & greet with my intestinal parasites, as well as a chance for some deep probing into various orafices of my body. Fun, eh? No idea yet what comes in the following two weeks, but hopefully it will include enough work to reduce the guilt I *may* feel for the month of absence that is July.

I hope that all the above sounds as busy and crazy as it feels. It's really satisfying and definitely exhausting. I'm on a good week, sleeping like the dead every night. I hope that theme continues indefinitely. I don't know why May isn't over yet, though. It should be, by now. Sunday is my 1 year anniversary, for arrival in Kenya. 14 more months of service!!

Camp GLOW

Alright kids! Something fun to talk about! I just got back last night from Nairobi (Kibera, to be specific) where we had a week-long camp GLOW - Girls Leading Our World. It's something hosted by the GAD committee, which I think I already posted about.

We left EARLY on Sunday morning, leaving Kakamega at 8am. Me, J and 4 girls. We picked 6 more before leaving Kisumu. A decent crowd of kids! All are secondary school girls that were nominated to go by a PCV. They were nominated for showing leadership, success and potential. So, we all left for the painful ride to Nairobi.

Mum, by the way, bring Dramamine for the trip! You'll be sorry if you don't!

We arrived Nairobi about 5p, right in rush hour, and had to take our ducklings through City Center, loaded with crap, to find a bus to Kibera. Know Kibera? That's the biggest slum in all of Africa. On the edges there is a place called Rowlan Scout Camp, where we stayed. Real nice little joint in the woods. They had tents, sleeping bags and mattresses for the girls, mattresses and blankets for us (we brought out own tents and bags), toilets, showers and some choos. The place is surrounded by an electric fence and has a lot of people around, so we all felt nice and safe.

It was a busy week, packed with activities. The PCVs (about 15 of us, I think) all tried to get up before the girls, to show them how enthusiastic we are and all that. But no. These are mostly boarding school girls, who are used to getting up at 4:30a to be washed and ready for the day. So, even sleeping in, they were still up and moving by 5:30a or so, well before us, and we woke at 6a!!

Wake-up stretches and exercise, then breakfast, then activities, then chai, then more activities, then lunch, then even more activities, then second chai and yet more activities, then dinner and some down time. LOTS of eating! I told the girls I expected them to each gain 5kilos in our week together. They all just laughed at me. Seriously, though, it made me happy to see them all eating so much, because I know it is WAY more than they ever get at home.

During all our meals, we were hounded by monkeys. Hoards of monkeys!! The smallish ones with looooong tails. Extremely cute, but theivin' lil' bastards! They stole an entire loaf of bread one morning, and some uncooked chapati dough another morning. Anything they could get to!

Our activities were both PC-based - re: health, sex, gender roles, the washable pads, etc. and DEPOT-based - leadership training, teamwork games, challenges, etc. DEPOT is the Dan Eldon Place of Tomorrow. Cheesy name, right? Yea, until they took us to Dan's room and explained who he was. In the 70s/80s, he was a photo-journalist who went to refugee camps and war-torn countries to photograph the people. His photos are amazingly gorgeous. He's got a book on Somalia and a Journal published, so maybe you can find one? I guess the photos themselves aren't for sale, and that is a damn shame. He's an American and was eventually stoned to death for this crime. His family and friends decided to find a way to keep his work alive and established the DEPOT. Do some research - learn more!

DEPOT volunteers included Wanja, Qui and Anne. These sadistic ladies led the ropes and teamwork activities as well as our morning exercises and served our meals. They are SO energetic! It was crazy to see! So much fun, though.

I hope to be accessing photos relatively soonish. Gotta snitch them from other people, as I was a numbnut and forgot my camera at home. I'll let ya know. In the meantime, I have a few posted on FaceBook now. Go see!

I Know a Volunteer

I know a volunteer who swallowed white flies. He was trying to tease, by swallowing flies! That's one of those foods I'm still chicken to try...

I know a volunteer who ate up some fish. She had it prepared as a local dish, And told me later, it was rather delish!

I know a volunteer who had a rat. She heard it scurry across the mat, Then killed the rat with a mighty Splat! (It was me, in fact)

I know a volunteer who found a cat. It came too late to catch the rat, So it stole some bread - imagine that!

I know a volunteer who heard a dog. That dog could howl, like a boat in the fog, A howl that woke her, though she slept like a log.

I know a volunteer who would act like a goat, Bleating real crazy, with his eyes all afloat. I miss that guy; I should send him a note.

I know a volunteer who chased a bull. It had come in her house in the afternoon lull And eaten her soap - a half tub full!

I know a volunteer who never could sleep, At least not a sleep that was ever deep. So she sat up in bed and wrote out this rhyme To post on her blog and pass the time.

I wish they were tales, those lines you've just read, But it's all just as real as my comfortable bed!

A Monsoon By Any Other Name...

Okay, okay, okay. I am NOT gonna be one of those people who begs for something only to whine when I get what I asked for. But, as They say, 'When it rains, it pours' and pours, and pours, and my goodness! I never realized that a "long rain" actually meant a 12-hour rain!

The Long Rains are officially upon us, which is great, as it's broken most of the heat and has inspired the vegetation to grow! Which, really, is the point of it all. Just like the Short Rains, it starts about 3 or 4pm, but these ones will last well through the night. It's insane. And it isn't just a slow drizzle that never stops, it's hard-core, pound on that damn tin roof 'til you're ready to kill someone kinda rain. Intense.

Every day from last Tuesday until sometime in June or so, it will rain. Every day. If April showers bring May flowers, what do the showers of May and June bring? Heaps of maize, I guess...

In related news, I bought a new umbrella (since my super-cool polka dot one was stolen by some asshole on a matatu). It's light blue with this cartoon face drawn on it - definitely Japanese - and, the best part?, ears that stick up when you open the umbrella! I'll have someone piga a snap for you all. It was 160/= or about $2. Not bad! Even has a whistle attached, in case I get swept away in the rains. Safety & Protection.

Nile River Explorers

I am fresh off the matatu from Uganda and can't wait to tell y'all all about my rafting trip! Here comes the play-by-play, right from the beginning...

I left Saturday morning, meeting K in town and travelling together. We chose to just use a matatu (and not a big bus) for the money savings. The trip went up and through Busia, where the main border crossing is.

On the way there, about 20 minutes away from Busia, I realized that I had left my passport at home - completely forgotten about in the hassle of moving and packing for a trip all in one day! I freaked out! Absolute panic- I really thought I would puke on myself, to get so close and then be turned away for something so stupid. But, we decided to try it, before making decisions about my returning or backing out cabisa.

Kenya's guard looked at me, at my Resident card, and shook his head. tsk tsk tsk! I begged and cajoled until he said, 'Whatever. Go see if Uganda will let you in.' I did, and Uganda laughed at me! There was 3 or 4 of them, just cracking up at us silly little white girls too dumb to remember a passport. But finally he said yes! He said it was fine, tsk'd me some more, and then wrote a note saying I had forgotten my papers, but had a 7-day visa to Uganda and to let me back out of the country! YAHOO!

On the Ugandan side, we met up right away with 9 others of our crew, completely by coincidence. It was great timing! K and I made the last 2 butts in the vehicle, and we headed out for the 2hr ride to Jinja.

The place overlooks a bend in the river and is very chill. Dorm beds, a bar, good food at decent prices, and there's an advantageous fellow with a chapati/egg stand just outside the gate with the most delicious wraps at killer-cheap prices. We drank and drank and drank, only briefly pausing to question the effect that would have on the next day.

Next day came, we woke early and prepared. Several were hung-over or had belly probs, but most recovered in time. One, the Birthday Girl, was rough the entire day, and spent the trip in the safety boat, missing out on the real scary stuff. All together, we were 23 ppl, mostly PC, but some extra folks mixed in. 6 or 7 ppl in each boat, 3 full boats. My guide was Henry, a Ugandan with 10 yrs guiding experience.

We started with breakfast at 9a and began rafting about 10/10:30a. Lunch came about 1p, then more rafting, so we returned to camp about 5p. A long day!! We all were just coated in sunscreen, as the rays are intense and so many people just fry out there.

Our first rapid was a class 4, but a bad one, and our boat totally wiped out almost immediately. Bodies went flying, paddles went flying, and we were all sucked under the water. Henry says we were down for 5 or so seconds, but I tell you what.. it felt like forever! No air, no idea which way is up, I got clobbered on the nose by who-knows-what/who. I opened my eyes and only saw green! Finally I caught a glimpse of a body, figured it must know where the surface was, and grabbed on. Air!!

Our boat flipped 3 of the 11 rapids, and I fell out on a 4th one. None of the flips were as scary as that first, because we caught on the the idea of clinging to the boat! Guaranteed to reach the surface that way!! And, we got better and seeing which of the many big scary waves were going to flip us over and out.

Most of the rapids were class 4 and 5, with a few 3s mixed in to ease it all out. What's this class business, you ask? Well, it's a way to tell people how scary and close to death a rapid is. I think 6 is the highest, and you can't go through a 6 in the big rafts, only in small boats or kayaks. And the 6s certainly look like they will kill you, even then! A class 1 is basically choppy water, and no big deal at all.

In between the rapids there was calm time of just getting through that gorgeous river called the Nile. It is SO big and SO wide! We saw tons of cranes and herons and swimming birds, a couple of monkeys, lots of naked Africans and a crocodile. Well... sort of. One of the guys noticed a water bottle floating up stream, a strange thing to see. He insisted there was something below it, pushing it, but we couldn't tell what, and Henry didn't offer a clue. Later, I heard from someone in another boat, that the rafting people had decided to tag the popular crocs for safety. They stuck empty water bottles to their head, somehow, so you can always be sure to spot one at a safe distance. Is that crazy shit or what?

They recorded most of our trip and Bwana Kubwa is buying it and will copy it for us all. I can't wait to show it to you guys so you can see what it was like! (Scary as hell, is what it was!) Look at some pics at www.raftafrica.com

Love y'all! I'm outta here to go and eat some food and get home to sleep. Damn, I'm tired!

Home, Sweet Home

What an original title, eh? Yea, I know. Screw you, too!

Really, though, I'm writing to celebrate my new home, so what else would I write? What?! New home?! You mean PC finally, 2 whole months later, found a new place for you in that big ol' country full of groups desperately-seeking-PCVs?? Why yes, they did! And a nice one, at that!

It is in a "suburb" of Kakamega (isn't that a great thought?), along the Mumias road. Shirulu, or something that sounds like that. I'm with the Wake Up Women's Group, a very dedicated, hardcore group of mamas (my favorite people in this place), who have promised to put my sorry butt to work. They have been told I left ASDP due to lack of work and stinginess on Napoleon's part, so they know they need to keep me busy or I'll leave them, too. I'll let you know work specifics as they are told to me.

My house is a step to the side, really. Can't say it's a lot better or a lot worse. Nice compound, smaller than the old, but more family-feeling. Pumped borehole. Big shamba. House is made of mud, 3 roomed (bedroom, sitting room, kitchen) and is cozy, but should be perfect for one person. Outdoor bafu and choo. Very clean feeling, no bats, still no ceiling, linoleumish floor (to make washing easier). My new mama has a HUGE place with solar power, so I can watch some TV and charge my phone there, if she's into it. She's got around 7 sons and I'm her first/only daughter, so I think she'll be into it!

For mail, I'll share an address in Kakamega with Joe, the SED volunteer to helped me to find this group. It's PO Box 2451, Kakamega 50100. Send letters IMMEDIATELY! Kakamega is 10min drive away, or an hour by bike, which Joe will be pushing me to do.

My favorite part? I'll be eating well here. They grow pumpkin, chili peppers, orange sweet potato, mushrooms, etc. The market is CLOSE, busy everyday, and when I need, I can come to Kakamega town for even more. HOO-RAH! Much love to you all, but I have to get the hell out of here so I can catch the matatu back home. Yet another night of cabbage soup for me... (I've decided, based on the slowness of todays boda drivers, that I need to reduce! That, and, there's nothing else to eat but cabbage. Oh well.)

Cross Sector

Today is Friday, the final day of our annual Cross Sector meeting. It's just that magical opportunity for PCVs from all sectors (by which I mean Public Health, SED/ICT, Education & BCC) to get together, listen to lectures, share info, meet each other, and get our counterparts out of the village.

Highlights:

• A rompin' round of Presidents & Assholes.
• My fight with an obnoxiously drunk Indian who felt it okay to call me a slut, but was angry when I called him an ass for cheating on his wife.
• Flu shot that left a huge, red, hot patch on my arm. Big thanks to PC/DC for that requirement.
• Chilling with the new CD, Ken P., who has been turning out to be a groovy dude.
• Learning Kenyan Sign Language

Housing update:

Bomet is out, as there is no housing. Ziwa is out, as there is no housing. Burnt Forest, Kakamega, Busia and Siaport (sp?) are all options that will be explored next week. I Begged the people at XSector to recommend a site for me. Kibet says it worked, as a number approached him with info on other sites. Keep your fingers crossed...

Weekend plans:

Going back to the G7 house for more daquaris, baked yummies and movies. Then, St. Patty's in Kisumu, hopefully with green beer. Sunday I'll travel to Nairobi, maybe by train, maybe not. Monday is the Gender & Development (GAD) meeting, and I plan on being elected on to the committee.

150

This is my 150th post on Blogger! Yay!

This weekend was the badass G7 party in Kakamega! We met these two G7 people (it's an NGO) at the lunch with Ambassador's Stand-In, about a month ago. The fellow was silly enough to invite 20 PCVs to his place for a party. 12 of us showed up, and it was a blast!

Lots of food, lots of alcohol (including banana daqaris!) , music and projected movies. He brought cake mixes from home, so we made cake and cookies, just because we were able to bake. I miss baking!!!!! Mmmm.... cake!

I have no idea when sleep came, but it was just like a 6th grade sleepover, with everyone whispering and spread all over the floor in sleeping bags. Bummer that the floor is, you know, kinda hard. But still! It was fun!

This morning we woke about 7:30a, had chocolate cake, fruit, mimosas, eggs, potaters, and sausage for the carnivores. Watched another movie, too. mmmmm.... food! My belly is SO full.

This fella was way too generous - all the food, the hospitality, then a bag of Kisses, a 4-pack of (soft, luxurious, American) toilet paper and time on the internet. Later, he'll actually drive us (partly) home. How freakin' amazing is that!!!

G7 does stuff with computers, taking donated ones from America and refurbishing them for Kenyan schools and such. I'm on the famous IBM Craptop from 1998 right now. Feels like old times... Maybe NMU donates their oldies?

No updates on the move. Sorry. Maybe I'll learn something tomorrow? Bye! I'll be back to the net in a week, when I'm in town for Cross Sector meetings. Tutaonana!

What a Bunch of Nonsense!

Why did the chicken cross the road? Just to see if he could!

The bees are back in my chimney, or somewhere. Wherever, they are definitely back.

How to greet in Kenya: Find a person who's REALLY far away and shout "How are you? How are you? How are you? How are you?" until they are too far away to see anymore. Pick someone new.

The rain is back, big time. I guess this means it's time to plant, and time to get the hell out of here, before the rains destroy the "roads" and lock me in.

I'm in Kakamega for a party tomorrow night. I came early in order to a.) Use internet, b.) Avoid packing, cleaning, working at home, c.) Get really drunk and pretend I'm someone else, or d.) All of the above, plus a little more, if the opportunity strikes.

The Wonder Spot, by Melissa Bank, is an extremely good book, which I am enjoying tremendously. Please find it and read it.

Seriously, though. I'm convinced that a chicken's need to cross the road is just because someone is approaching. And their speed of crossing is inversely related to your own travelling speed. Meaning, if you are slowly walking, they'll haul ass to get across before you. If you are in a rush, biking or driving, they will slowly scootch their way across, sqwaking at you as you brake/swerve/and otherwise avoid crushing them. Sometimes I use this as evidence of the stupidity of birds. But then, at 200/= a pop, these suckers are worth a lot more dead, than alive. Maybe their owners train them?

I have 3 weeks worth of laundry, 1 week worth of clothes line, and no rope for the well (which is jammed with two fallen buckets, anyhow). What I don't have, is soneone reliable enough to wash my clothes for me.

I'm writing new lyrics to that song "She's a Maniac (for Love)", or whatever it's called. 80's tune. In my version? "She's a Lazyass" I haven't made it out of the chorus yet.

Oh! Did I Forget to Tell You? You're Fired!

(Can someone please pass the word- "She's fired!")

Yea. Napolean, the little man that couldn't, has fired me from the NGO. How awesome is that? I mean, really, how bloody awesome is that? It isn't. Damn.

The big long drama....

I go to work on 29 Jan in Eshinutsa. No biggie. On 30 Jan, I go to the office, as usual. My counterpart, M, tells me that there was a staff meeting last night, and I can't figure out what about, no one will tell me. Yea, well, no one would tell me either. Eventually, he finds out that there was a meeting to discuss my work and how I was going to be removed by PC. Napolean had written a letter to PC detailing my failings and asking for my removal. This was followed with a phone call requesting details on when I would be gone. Then the meeting with everyone but M and I. On Friday I get a call from my APCD saying, "Did you hear? You've been fired."

NO ONE except M will give me any details to this. But they all know, and they all talk about it, behind my back- no, sorry, In front of my face, in Luhya, so I don't really understand what's being said.

2 weeks pass, with no sign of Napolean, no word from him or confirmation of the "rumour". Finally, at the end of the 3rd week, he calls me in to say, "I hear you've been needing to speak to me." I say, no, YOU need to speak to ME. WTF? He spends the next 2hours lying to me about why I am being fired, lying to me about the meeting, and refusing to allow me to see the letter he wrote to the APCD, despite an earlier offer to let me read it.

Big pile of bullshit.

The reasons? There's 3: 1. I feel misplaced (true) and have no work to do in the community (not true), 2. I am completely unsupervisable (because he's a moron, and too stupid to ever call me in and ASK ME), and 3. I insist on having a day to go and buy food every week (true- because I don't have a wife who will do it for me, and it's the only way to get something other than a tiny tomato or an onion).

No, this does not mean I am leaving PC. Kibet was smarter than to suggest it to me, and I'm not ready to do it anyhow. Too bad, Kenya. I'm sticking around! It does mean I have to have a site change. My APCD is looking in to Bomet, a town south of Kisii, in the Rift Valley, with the Kalinjins. I'd be dead center between Kisumu and Nairobi, close to the Masai Mara, and in a supposedly beautiful area with a good project. Still no stima, still no maji, still no sign of civilization. I'm not excited about this, but I'm trying to look on it as a possibly positive twist of fate.

Meanwhile, the Chieves have declared I am not allowed to leave, and are searching for a new org. in the Kisa area. I really like that - makes me feel LUVD. The community is upset, and Napolean is losing a lot of respect.

Who knows how much longer this will take. I am in Kisumu this weekend to party with the PCVs and bid farewell to S, my MI girl, who got AdSepd. Bullshit, of course. (There's now only 30 of us from the original 39 who made it into Kenya.) But so much fun to be here!! I will let you know as soon as its all official. In the meantime, mail can be sent to the Nairobi address, from PST - the PO Box 30518.

Much love to you all.

Where's my damn letters?!?

Gosh, Baby! I Hardly Felt a Thing!

Today was my very first time! I say that with an exclamation, and I'm not really sure I should. I mean... your first time is always exciting, if only because it's new, something to put on the list of "Done That"s. But then... Maybe this isn't something to be all that excited about?

Mum, Dad, calm down. It's nothing nasty!! Well. Not the nasty thing you're thinking about (ewww! I'm your Daughter!!)

Today I had my very first operation. Real, live surgery, and I got to be awake for the whole dang thing!

So, about a month ago now, I gave myself a "pedicure" with a toothpick. My 2nd toe on the right got a little weird a few days later, prolly from my digging around. No biggie. It looked like a callus, on the tip (past the nail), and I figured it's full of pus. So, what do I do? I play. I dig. I poke. Gotta get it out, right? But it wasn't coming out like it should, just little bits of water, not the real stuff I could see in there. So I got a lancet, conveniently included in my med kit, and continued to dig deeper. But still, nothing coming. Damn.

All this time, it has both itched and hurt at the same time, like a mosquito bite you've already scratched too much. I scratch, say ouch, and scratch some more. And keep playing with the new bloodblister/scab that has formed. Play, pick, play, pick.

Last night it starts THROBBING. Damn, did that mo-fo hurt. I took a couple codeine and nothing. At midnight I finally call medical who says, 'hey dumbass, you take Ibuprofen for inflammations' and that I need to haul butt to a doctor in the morning. At the PC office, L says, "Oh, prolly just a staph infection. They're really going around right now. Don't worry!"

The good Dr. S had a different idea. "That's jiggers", she says with hardly a glance. It's WHAT?!? I want to stand up and vomit, just like the kid in the waiting room did minutes before. I have ^shudder^ critters living in my foot?? She says she can cut it out, no prob, it will just take a second. I, for those of you who don't know me, immediately turn into a baby and beg for a local anesthetic. PLEASE! Please don't just cut me! Turns out, for needle jabs between the toes isn't really a nice feeling. (Mum, Dad: This was further affirmation that I could NEVER be a heroin addict. Please breathe a sigh of relief) I made a promise not to kick her, like the kid before me (who was attempting to have a roach removed from her ear canal) and strangled the IV pole instead.

10 minutes later, she had me laying, sort of, on the table for the katikati of the jiggers. The anesthetic was amazing! I hardly felt even the pressure of her touching me, and certainly not the pain of a knife slicing me! But did I whimper and whine? You betcha! She packed it and sent me on my way, with a bloody crater in my toe. G-Ross. It still hurts like a toe that's been sliced, but I have pills for that. I'm not afraid!

Her advice for avoiding jiggers in the future? "Go back to America."

Whatever

Not really anything good to say... Oh, I should follow up to the last stuff, eh, and finish whatever I was talking about. Maybe.

So, like I told you, I was in Kakamega, on my way to lunch with Mr. Ambassador. Well, he actually had a meeting in Nairobi to smooth over the bombings in Somalia and couldn't make it. All the other grown ups cross their hearts he was really looking forward to meeting all of us. I, of course, accept this response proudly- who wouldn't want to have lunch with us?? We suggested a re-do, but who knows if it will happen.

All in all, it was still really a good time. I got to meet 5 or 6 new PCVs, remeet some old ones, and get a free lunch, followed by free beer. 2 folks from this G7 group were there and super friendly to us, buying the beer and announcing a party at their place in a few weeks. And the real teaser? They have an OVEN! You bet your bottom I'm coming!! The government people were all really cool, though, so it was well worth going to, and I only wish I could have more of those opportunities.

That night was a sleepover at Joe's place. 7 total, and we made spagetti and then french toast for breakfast. Fun times.

At site (oh yea! work!) I have finally started to earn my pay. I was really sick right after Lamu, but have mostly recovered. I'm just snotty now, not near-dead like I felt before. I sat in the office last Monday, doing NOTHING and feeling lame. The voice in my head came on and suggested that, if I want work, I need to get off my sorry ass and go find it. Introductions are over, it's time to talk serious commitments and schedules. And, since Napolean hardly talks to me, let alone offers suggestions of work projects, it's truly up to me.

I now spend Mondays in Eshinutsa, first at the clinic and then at the Secondary school to talk with the female students (all male teachers there). Tuesday afternoons will be at Mundaha Primary, with the Health Club. Wednesday morning, for the next month at least, will be back at Eshinusta 2ndary, to talk with boys and girls. That leaves me a lot of open space, still, but I ain't done! That's just a week worth of effort!

The key to passing the next 18 months, and passing them in a way that will cause warm fuzzies when I reminisce (sp?), is to be busy, busy, busy with work. Sitting around is just too boring and makes time just crawl along.

Another bonus here? I bike to Eshinutsa (maybe 30 min?), and have been biking to Kilingili again. I ran out of money, so biking was the only way to get to the Posta and to get to the market. My tushy and quads are soooooore now! But, maybe this belly I have will take a hike...

I am in Kisumu today. I'm here for research -no really!- and to pick up a package. The camels have finally made it across Africa, bringing a package sent in early July. Take notice, those of you who send groundmail - it takes about 6 months to arrive! That means, don't stick any yummy cupcakes in there, eh? So, anyway, 6 months of waiting reveals that I have the Worlds Greatest Mum who really missed me a lot. It's awesome! FULL of sauce packets for sauces I didn't know existed, let alone came in little packets! And cheese for Mac&Cheese, M&Ms, a new cap and even a mouth gaurd for my Nalgene, and shirts, knives, towels, ... a lot of damn good stuff!

I'll be back in 2 weeks, if all goes well. In the meantime, write me letters! You know who you are! I expect mail from some of those unheard from peoples. Sawa? You don't get a letter unless you send a letter, and it starts with YOU.

Cool. Peace out, dudes.

Just the News, Please

Right-O!

Back from Lamu. I didn't have the money to spend in Kisumu, so you all didn't get to hear my pretty words on the vacation. Just now got to Kakamega (going to be taking lunch with the Ambassador today. Yes, thank you, I know I am important!) so I have some time, though still no money, to write you.

Lamu was Amazing! The trip there sucked eggs, but it was worth it, in the end. So, remember how I said we were going to take the train to Mombasa? Haha!! Silly girl! We all hopped on, set up the laptop and speakers, pulled out the booze and got settled. About midnight we started falling off, but woke to a strange feeling at 2am. The feeling of not moving. hmm... Whatever, let's go back to bed, get some sleep. Sawa. 8am I am awake again and no, we still aren't moving. WTF?

Turns out there is a lake lying over the tracks, just before Kabweze, which is only 2 or so hours outside Nairobi. Crap almighty. We wait there until noon, hoping the water will magically disappear (honestly), and when it doesn't, we wait another hour to be pulled back to Makindu, where we are supposed to get buses the rest of the way. We just got our own matatu, filled it with all 15 of us and all our luggage, and left. Oh, the horror!!!

At least this way we could get to Malindi, not just Mombasa. Our vehicle arrived at 2am, when all the hotels were booked. So, we just went to the gas station where our bus to Lamu would leave from and crashed there, in the middle of it all. Nice, eh? We pass the night in the streets and do okay.

7:30am, the bus arrives. It's okay, 'cause we have tickets and will get seats, hurrah! Until the next 200 people cram into the aisles, mushing us into our seats, forcing us against the windows and raising the temperature considerably. For 8 hours. KILL ME.

We arrive, hot, sweaty and angry, and boat over to the island ("it's an island?", I think). It's a 3-story house, owned by a very cute Frenchman with a boyfriend, where we fit 16 people into 3 bedrooms, 6 beds and 2 tents.

Hey, sorry, I'll finish this later... No money...

No, Really Dude! We're, uh, So Sad You're Dead!

To all my future visitors, I can only hope you'll be so lucky as to arrive in time for a real Kenyan funeral. They sound like such a riotously good time (from my bed, at 3am) that I would hate to have you miss the fun, the culture, the experience.

Someone here told me that the newly dead should not sleep alone their first few nights in the grave. So, families will rent HUGE sound systems and blast their music all through the night. Maybe the idea is to forcefully keep themselves awake by cranking the volume until sleep is impossible. Which might be acceptable, if they didn't aim the speakers outward, toward their sleeping neighbors! Or maybe the aim is to wake the dead, and the family is kind enough to try and reach out to everyone. Who really knows?

The hills and valleys in my area, though, they have an Amazing ability to transport sound so that music from 2 or 3 kilometers away sounds as clear (and loud) as music from right next door.

The problem with this comes at 2am, after you've been struggling for sleep for the last 4 hours. You stumble into your sandals, arm yourself with a panga and step outside, prepared to murder your neighbor. But then you realize, the noise isn't, in fact, from next door, but rather from some chump's place, waayyy over there, across the valley. Sure, you could probably make it over there and complete your mission. But if the music is this loud here, then.... damn! How freakin' loud is it over there?!?

I just don't understand how people known for their hospitality can be SO RUDE as to keep their hard-working neighbors awake all night! Or, how these people tolerate such behavior! That's what you get in a town with no cops and no phones with which to call them, I guess.

The part of me not desperate for sleep wants to get dressed and go over to shake my booty all night. I mean, really!, an all-night disco with no cover charge? In Kenya?? I'm there!

And just when you think it will be worth every effort to find this home and slaughter them all, one by one, it stops.

Peace!

And it's only 4:30am, so, that's like, 2 hours of sleep, and, I could almost survive the next da- Cock-A-Doooooodle-Dooooooooo!!!!!!! And you realize, with a tear, that the music has only stopped because it is dawn. Time to get up and start the chores, start the day. The whole night has passed with hardly a wink. Where was my sleep????

But sleep does come, finally, lulled by sweet dreams of snapping the neck of every rooster in the land. Joy!! One, by One, by One, by One....